2020’s a hellscape. Fascism’s on the rise, class disparity’s tearing us apart, and there are literal prison camps on U.S. soil. But don’t worry - noted “political activist” Greg Miller is here to save us all with a bold new plan: bringing Joe Biden’s campaign to Animal Crossing: New Horizons.
In an a defiant act of radical activism, Miller has concocted the “Biden Island” - a New Horizons island tailored exclusively to Joe Biden. This island comes with the official seal of approval from Biden’s campaign, which means it’ll likely have enough prison cells to round up “violent” villagers and “put them away for a long time.”
We’re unsure as to what Miller, friend only to good-faith political actors, will do during tomorrow’s Twitch stream - or what the island even looks like. But we’re confident that it’ll be in touch with today’s youth, and definitely not another “Pokemon GO to the polls” moment for the universally beloved candidate.
— Greg Miller (@GameOverGreggy) October 15, 2020
It’s worth noting that this isn’t the first time Biden has come to Animal Crossing - his campaign put signs in the game last month. But that was small potatoes compared to this. Think of the opportunities! We’re really hopeful to see some adorable fracking facilities, or some bespoke courthouses to prosecute anarchist villagers.
Whatever the case may be, we’re interested to see what a whole island built around Biden’s ethos looks like, and feel confident that Miller is definitely the best person to raise awareness for anything that isn’t selling PlayStations.
Editor’s Note: Here’s the deal - voting for Biden is a probably good idea because it’s the least bad option, and he’s not as openly fascist. Doesn’t mean we have to like it, though!
